Transatlantic and Toilets at 33,000 Feet

On-board the A330-300 Aer Lingus flight EI105 for John F. Kennedy. Abbi and I’s flight was delayed for our eleven o’clock departure. The jet ascended and took off Irish grounds at midday (GMT).

I’ve never been on a plane bigger than an A320 so this trip is full of new experiences, it actually adds to my ‘year of new experiences’ (so far). At our seats we have little touchscreen TVs equipped with Movies, TV programmes, Music/Radio and Games. There is even a maps section that tell you the altitude, speed and outside temperature, a plus that feeds your inner Aviation Geek!

Earlier in the flight it was all a bit surreal. As if seeing the vast wingspan on the aircraft wasn’t crazy enough, the triple 2-4-2 seat formation, with the extra legroom, felt a bit luxury. Yes, I’m aware it doesn’t take much to impress me.

Talk about living it up Economy Style!

The seat pitch isn’t something I am used to. I am very much used to easyJet and tin-can Ryanair flights where its a task and a half just to take off your coat without smacking your seat partner in the face. This bigger legroom meant it wasn’t an awkward hassle having a bag – or two – by my sock soles or needing to get out for the toilet.

Before the complimentary inflight meal – but after the complimentary coke and preztels (that tasted like feet) – I slid past Abbi and went up to the toilets. The one on my side was otherwise occupied so I slipped passed a row of seats, “excuse me, sorry..” I mumbled as I squeezed past the poorly seated people.

I’ve never used the toilet onboard a plane before. Buses/Coaches/Boats, yes. Planes …no and its not because subconsciously I think I’d get sucked through the toilet at cruising altitude…its, not, I swear – Okay a little bit. Its because I’ve never been on a long enough flight to need to go.

My longest flight prior to this trip was from London – Pisa in 2012. Roughly a four hour trip, even after a Vodka and Coke (and feeling slightly pissed – but that’s another story) I still didn’t need to go. Although there was one time I was on a flight from Belfast to Birmingham and I was dying to pee, but I thought “the first time I go to the toilet in the sky …I want it to be on a long-haul classy jet. Not some sleazy easyJet A319!”

So there I was in my – totally see through – leggings  trying to workout how to open the door. I pushed in, nearly falling through the door and walked in. It was like a full on bathroom, there was totally room for another person in here!

I wonder if that fit boy sat near us wanted to join the Mile High Club?

The toilet is a lot more spacious than I expected. Cleaner too. Megabus Gold has nothing on this jet! On route back to my seat I went to cross over the same row of seats, unfortunately this rude woman put her feet up and gave me the most disgusting look, “no.” She snapped. I gave her an even dirtier look and thought “alright, love, you’re not in business class” before turning my heal and having to walk the length of the plane just to turn back up to get to my seat!

Whilst I was walking up to my seat. Mile High boy was walking up to get back to his seat too. He eyed me up and down, saw I was shoeless and looking stressed from escapade around the plane and let me get to my seat first. Abbi and her mass of belongings (ie: her laptop, her drink) stood up and let me in, whilst the boy had to interrupt a nun – from her prayers – to get back to his seat for like the millionth time!

A few minutes passed and an air steward came around with my pre-requested Vegetarian meal, which I only got through DM’ing Aer Lingus on Twitter…
My meal was a pasta dish with very little sauce and vegetables. I also had a side of God-awful dry Pasta salad (Stupid Aer Lingus for pairing carbs with more carbs!) There was also a biscuit, tea and cute tub of water, which made me smile to say the least!

We’re were a couple of hours from arrival and I had to pee again.


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